Sick. and Tired.

I'm so tired of being grateful that I'm not sick.

or not dying.

I'm so tired of being grateful that my husband, my children, and my parents are not sick or dying.

okay, so that sounds kind of funny,

I certainly don't wish for any of those things to happen.

like ever.

but I do wish that I didn't have to be grateful for those things, because it usually means that I know or have heard of someone else who is sick. or dying.

and I just wish it would stop.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and cancer would just be fucking gone.

This week my boss's mother passed away from cancer. She was disgnosed just a few short months ago, but was just too sick to be able to get treatment in time. the entire situation was incredibly sad. and tragic. A few co-workers of mine and my parents (i work with my mother) made the trek to Vermont to attend the funeral this morning. The service was very lovely. but a lovely service doesn't change the fact that what happened was completely awful. I am grateful that we did go down to the funeral though. my boss wasn't expecting it and I like to think that maybe it helped her a little bit during such an awful time.

but like every other time someone I know or a family member of someone i know passes away, I took the time to think about one thing. I am so grateful that this isn't me. I'm so grateful that this isn't my mom. that this isn't my husband or my husband's mom. I'm grateful this isn't anyone in my own little bubble and that I can live on for one more day without that bubble being shattered.

and while I am SOO grateful for that. I wish that other people weren't going through that too.

so yea. tired of being grateful for the good heath thing. I wish it was just a given for everyone.

Thanks for reading!
Lana