Actual 12 Year Old Lana.

Today I am grateful that I live my life by the wayside of my inner 12 year old.

I know.

I just posted recently about how much I never want to be a kid again, and here I am admitting to actually being a big kid.

It was actually that post that made me think about it.

I walk around my house drinking wine feeling so awesome that I am in control of my life. I am a woman. I have a mortgage. (actually my husband has a mortgage, I have a Queen Bee Throne) I am a Mom. I'm so adult-like it's crazy.

except if you happen to notice this...

so what? I just happen to keep Harry Potter magnets on my fridge. In his quiddich uniform and school uniform, of course. He needs a variety....and so what if he happens to be sitting on a cut out comic strip about The Avengers. It's not like I have a keychain or anything.

or wait.



so maybe I keep Loki on my keychain. He's the God of Mischief! I mean that has to help keep bad guys away right? I mean other bad guys besides Loki.

and it's not like I hang Harry Potter scarves in my mudroom or...

shit.

To be fair The Marsh is the one who hung this up.

and Slytherin really is the best house.

and maybe I'm just a little bit obsessed with Star Trek . So I own a Starship Enterprise pizza cutter.

and I have a couple t-shirts.

and all 11 movies

and there may or may not possibly be a Samwise Gamgee figurine currently sitting on my TV stand.

I don't know where Frodo is right now.

but yea, he's around here too.

ahem.

Okay so all of that it a smidge unadult-like. nothing makes my night like when The Marsh asks which Harry Potter movie I want to watch. because yes I own all 8 on blu-ray. and nothing makes me happier than seeing my children fall in love with the characters I love so much.

So why am I grateful that my house shows all the evidence of my inner 12 year old ruling my life? because when I was actually 12, I was way too "cool" for all of this stuff.

Somedays I wish I could write a letter and send it to myself telling me to watch the Star Trek movies with my dad whenever TNT was playing them. To read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and to not wait until after I graduate from high school to read Harry Potter. There is just something so satisfying about falling in love with fictional characters that are, in fact, actually amazing characters. To fall in love with stories that change your life and your entire perception of people. and it does. If you don't like Harry Potter, I judge you a little bit. I just wish that I had allowed myself to be such a nerdy fangirl at an earlier age. It's not like walking around being a snob really enriched my life in anyway shape or form. certainly not like discovering one James T. Kirk did.

So I'm grateful that now at 25 I can really allow myself to enjoy all my geekiness in a way I didn't allow myself to in the past. I'm grateful that I have an inner 12 year old that doesn't want to be stifled into this adult mold. I think it creates a healthy balance in my life knowing that while I'm making dinner for my children my refrigerator is covered in little characters from Harry Potter that remind me of how precious life is. how magical love is. and important friendship is. all while getting a kick out of the fact that they are legos and they bend at the waist.

I suppose the best way to put it simply is to quote New York Times Best Selling Author John Green. "Nerd life is just so much better than regular life."

and I'm grateful to be a nerd.

Thanks for reading!

Lana