Right now, in this very moment, I am grateful for the silence that is now happening in my house.
well, The Marsh is playing a video game.
but to be fair, he's playing it quietly.
but earlier.
oh yes earlier.
my house was not so quiet.
you see today The Marsh discovered the dub step station on pandora radio.
at first i noticed a few songs in a row that had it going on, so i asked "did you put pandora on a nightclub station or what?" and he responds with "I'm trying to culturally immerse myself in other types of music..such as dub step" yup. thats my husband, ladies and gentlemen. almost 30 but he's still hip with the kids. and then after the songs keep playing i realize that it is, in fact, a dub step station.
that was at 10:30 this morning.
you know when the dub step stopped playing in our house? at 8:30 pm when I walked over to my kitchen counter and proceeded to rip my ipod of my ihome. my house has sounded like a god damn rave all day. i actually felt like i was on drugs at one point because the noise was just pounding into my head. over. and Over. and OVER.
and the worst part is that it's not that i don't like it, cause i do. i couldn't even walk to my bathroom without busting a groove because the whole thing really is so catchy.
but JEEZ MAN. a girl can only take so much.
so I am very grateful for the silence going on right now. and the lack of dub step happening in my house. actually, i think if i ran into Skrillex right now i would punch him in the face. so i'm grateful he's no where around right now too. i have better things to do than be brought up assault charges.
like pour a freaking glass of wine.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
Monday, September 10, 2012
Sunday, September 9, 2012
11 Years Later.
Today I am grateful for reunions.
(oh! I'm also grateful that blogger seems to be working again, because last night i seriously tried to reload it for over an hour before giving up and just not blogging)
anyway.
reunions.
Today my brother and I had a reunion with someone we had not seen in over 11 years. My biological father's ex-wife.
I suppose that statement warrants a little back story.
When I was five, my biological father re-married a woman named Mickey. and she proceeded to be my step-mother for the next 8 years or so. from the time i was in kindergarden until my freshman year in high school. she was a huge part of my life for all of my formative years and she's really the only reason I ever had much of a relationship with my biological father in the first place. heck, half of the time i went to visit him, it just ended up being the two of us hanging out anyway. and on more than one occasion it was more like my brother and i went to visit Mickey because my biological father wasn't around anyway. working or something.
and then they got divorced. and I'll go ahead and say it was more than a little messy. and suddenly this woman who had spent the better part of a decade being a second mom to Jordan (brother) and I was no longer apart of our life anymore. and not only did we lose her, but her parents, and her niece and nephew, and her cousins. people that my brother and i had grown up with and considered family. poof! gone. thanks for playing. it was fun, but now it's over.
and as we all know...time goes on.
and as time went on and social media began to take over...i began to wonder. where was Mickey? was she okay? did she miss us? On facebook my brother and i had actually managed to friend some of the kids that we grew up with and eventually Mickey's mom friended us too. and at that point I had to ask her..."do you know how I can get in touch with Mickey?" and so she ended up helping me get in touch with her. actually, unbeknownst to me, my brother was actually already in touch with her, but he hadn't said anything to me in case it wasn't something i wanted to pursue. but we all managed to get in touch again and I tried to catch her up on everything that had happened in my life over the years through various emails.
that was back in 2009.
and we kept talking about the idea of getting together, but life just happens you know? around that time Georgiana was just a baby, and Brey not much more than that. The Marsh and I were getting ready to try and buy a house. We found out Bob had pulmonary fibrosis. we moved into said house. the babes keep life so busy and there were trips to plan and places to go. I was training all last summer for my half marathon. and then we found out Bob had cancer.
life's been crazy, right?
finally though, we managed to get together.
this morning Mickey drove up from her house a couple hours away and met my brother and i to get some breakfast at the local diner. and sure, i was nervous. and so was my brother. i mean, this was someone we hadn't seen in 11 years. that's bound to be a little awkward, right? well, it actually really wasn't. she talked to us a bit about the divorce and how the whole thing went down. and she got a good laugh when we told her some of the silly/horrible stories about life since her. honestly, if felt like we hadn't seen her in a couple months rather than 11 years. talking to her was so much like talking to her growing up. she's fundamentally the same person. and that was just an amazing thing to discover.
so today I am grateful that we finally all managed to get together.
I'm grateful that we all took a chance and weren't too scared instead to just say "well it's been too long, there is no point in seeing each other now"
and I'm grateful that there is now this potential to have a relationship with someone who meant so much to me once upon a time and who still does.
it's a thing to be grateful for indeed.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
(oh! I'm also grateful that blogger seems to be working again, because last night i seriously tried to reload it for over an hour before giving up and just not blogging)
anyway.
reunions.
Today my brother and I had a reunion with someone we had not seen in over 11 years. My biological father's ex-wife.
I suppose that statement warrants a little back story.
When I was five, my biological father re-married a woman named Mickey. and she proceeded to be my step-mother for the next 8 years or so. from the time i was in kindergarden until my freshman year in high school. she was a huge part of my life for all of my formative years and she's really the only reason I ever had much of a relationship with my biological father in the first place. heck, half of the time i went to visit him, it just ended up being the two of us hanging out anyway. and on more than one occasion it was more like my brother and i went to visit Mickey because my biological father wasn't around anyway. working or something.
and then they got divorced. and I'll go ahead and say it was more than a little messy. and suddenly this woman who had spent the better part of a decade being a second mom to Jordan (brother) and I was no longer apart of our life anymore. and not only did we lose her, but her parents, and her niece and nephew, and her cousins. people that my brother and i had grown up with and considered family. poof! gone. thanks for playing. it was fun, but now it's over.
and as we all know...time goes on.
and as time went on and social media began to take over...i began to wonder. where was Mickey? was she okay? did she miss us? On facebook my brother and i had actually managed to friend some of the kids that we grew up with and eventually Mickey's mom friended us too. and at that point I had to ask her..."do you know how I can get in touch with Mickey?" and so she ended up helping me get in touch with her. actually, unbeknownst to me, my brother was actually already in touch with her, but he hadn't said anything to me in case it wasn't something i wanted to pursue. but we all managed to get in touch again and I tried to catch her up on everything that had happened in my life over the years through various emails.
that was back in 2009.
and we kept talking about the idea of getting together, but life just happens you know? around that time Georgiana was just a baby, and Brey not much more than that. The Marsh and I were getting ready to try and buy a house. We found out Bob had pulmonary fibrosis. we moved into said house. the babes keep life so busy and there were trips to plan and places to go. I was training all last summer for my half marathon. and then we found out Bob had cancer.
life's been crazy, right?
finally though, we managed to get together.
this morning Mickey drove up from her house a couple hours away and met my brother and i to get some breakfast at the local diner. and sure, i was nervous. and so was my brother. i mean, this was someone we hadn't seen in 11 years. that's bound to be a little awkward, right? well, it actually really wasn't. she talked to us a bit about the divorce and how the whole thing went down. and she got a good laugh when we told her some of the silly/horrible stories about life since her. honestly, if felt like we hadn't seen her in a couple months rather than 11 years. talking to her was so much like talking to her growing up. she's fundamentally the same person. and that was just an amazing thing to discover.
so today I am grateful that we finally all managed to get together.
I'm grateful that we all took a chance and weren't too scared instead to just say "well it's been too long, there is no point in seeing each other now"
and I'm grateful that there is now this potential to have a relationship with someone who meant so much to me once upon a time and who still does.
it's a thing to be grateful for indeed.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
Friday, September 7, 2012
Mr. President.
Today I am grateful for Barack Obama.
I am grateful that he is the President of our United States.
I am grateful for the wonderful things that he has done in his presidency.
ending the war in Iraq.
giving the order to kill Bin Laden.
the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell.
I'm grateful for everything he hopes for America in the future.
affordable student loans and lower interests rates.
health insurance that the lower middle class can actually pay for.
women having the right and freedom over their own bodies and health care.
american citizens having the right to marry whomever they choose. gay or straight.
I'm grateful that when I listen to my President speak, he inspires me.
He makes me want to believe in America when there are days I seriously have my doubts.
He brings tears to my eyes when he talks about the future of our children, because it's my children's future he is talking about. and I want everything for them.
and I'm grateful that after his amazing speech at the Democratic National Convention last night, that just maybe people who were on the fence have decided that they are going to vote for him to.
I spent most of my formative years with a President who didn't inspire me (or the Nation) at all. So now I will be SO grateful if I could get four more years with one who does.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
I am grateful that he is the President of our United States.
I am grateful for the wonderful things that he has done in his presidency.
ending the war in Iraq.
giving the order to kill Bin Laden.
the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell.
I'm grateful for everything he hopes for America in the future.
affordable student loans and lower interests rates.
health insurance that the lower middle class can actually pay for.
women having the right and freedom over their own bodies and health care.
american citizens having the right to marry whomever they choose. gay or straight.
I'm grateful that when I listen to my President speak, he inspires me.
He makes me want to believe in America when there are days I seriously have my doubts.
He brings tears to my eyes when he talks about the future of our children, because it's my children's future he is talking about. and I want everything for them.
and I'm grateful that after his amazing speech at the Democratic National Convention last night, that just maybe people who were on the fence have decided that they are going to vote for him to.
I spent most of my formative years with a President who didn't inspire me (or the Nation) at all. So now I will be SO grateful if I could get four more years with one who does.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Dementors.
Today I am grateful that I am not a dementor.
If you don't know what that is I am excusing you from this blog.
because clearly we can no longer be friends.
Dementors.
They are from the wonderful universe of Harry Potter.
and they are the keepers of Azkaban. The wizarding prison.
and are defined as such:
"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life."
peachy right?
but dementors aren't real, you say? How can I be grateful for not being a dementor when it's clearly a mythical being? and really? can anyone possibly really be that awful?
I'm telling you now. They can.
Have you ever just met someone who is completely capable of ruining your day without even doing anything at all?
don't lie, i'm sure everyone knows at least one person like that.
either a family member.
a friend of a friend.
a co-worker.
someone who is so negative all the time that they suck the very happiness out of you whenever you are around them. they bring down everyone they interact with. it would almost be considered a super power if it wasn't so spectacularly horrifying. you dread seeing this person. this person actually gives you anxiety when you are not around them because you just can't help thinking about what stupid or insulting or rude thing this person may or may not say to you the next time you see them. they are simply evil.
just like a dementor.
but there is one redeeming quality that these dementor-like people do have going for them. they make they rest of us extemely grateful to NOT be like them. they make us want to be better. they make us want to see the positive side in some things. they make us want to never reach that level of bitchidom because you know first hand just how much you have to literally hold yourself back so that you don't reach out and cuff a bitch upside the head. they make us never want to have anyone look at us and think "wow, you remind me of a dementor!" and I am grateful that at this point in my life, I don't believe that there is anyone who would quite define me this way.
but i guess anything is possible.
and now that I think about it...that person can sometimes even look like a dementor too...
Thanks for reading!
Lana
If you don't know what that is I am excusing you from this blog.
because clearly we can no longer be friends.
Dementors.
They are from the wonderful universe of Harry Potter.
and they are the keepers of Azkaban. The wizarding prison.
and are defined as such:
peachy right?
but dementors aren't real, you say? How can I be grateful for not being a dementor when it's clearly a mythical being? and really? can anyone possibly really be that awful?
I'm telling you now. They can.
Have you ever just met someone who is completely capable of ruining your day without even doing anything at all?
don't lie, i'm sure everyone knows at least one person like that.
either a family member.
a friend of a friend.
a co-worker.
someone who is so negative all the time that they suck the very happiness out of you whenever you are around them. they bring down everyone they interact with. it would almost be considered a super power if it wasn't so spectacularly horrifying. you dread seeing this person. this person actually gives you anxiety when you are not around them because you just can't help thinking about what stupid or insulting or rude thing this person may or may not say to you the next time you see them. they are simply evil.
just like a dementor.
but there is one redeeming quality that these dementor-like people do have going for them. they make they rest of us extemely grateful to NOT be like them. they make us want to be better. they make us want to see the positive side in some things. they make us want to never reach that level of bitchidom because you know first hand just how much you have to literally hold yourself back so that you don't reach out and cuff a bitch upside the head. they make us never want to have anyone look at us and think "wow, you remind me of a dementor!" and I am grateful that at this point in my life, I don't believe that there is anyone who would quite define me this way.
but i guess anything is possible.
and now that I think about it...that person can sometimes even look like a dementor too...
Thanks for reading!
Lana
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Day 1. Pre-K.
Today I am grateful that both Brey and I survived his first day of Pre-K.
YAY!
and it wasn't even really all that hard on me.
okay, so maybe it was.
there were definately a few tears on my part.
none shed by him though. he walked away from me into that school and didn't even look back.
brat.
But he did look ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!
He made it to school and back today just fine.
He says that he had lots of fun. and that he also doesn't remember anything that he did today. i think he does. i think he thinks it's funnier to just not tell me what i want to know.
I just keep looking at these pictures and thinking "how is this even possible?" when did my little baby become old enough to go to school? to ride the BUS?
le sigh.
I'm old. boo.
all this being said, even though I did have a teensy little problem with letting go...I am extremely happy and excited for him to start this new journey in his life. I'm grateful that he has the chance to go to school and meet new friends and learn new things from someone who isn't his mom. I'm grateful for all the fun he is going to have even if he doesn't know it yet. I am grateful for this whole part of his life that is going to help form who is as a human being, this incredible opportunity he has even though he hasn't quite realized the overall effect that this is going to have on his life.
because today was just Day One.
Day One of soo many many more.
good days.
bad days.
happy days.
sad days.
fun days.
annoying days.
brilliant days.
embaressing days.
they all started today.
I'm grateful that even though today seemed hard at the time...it's probably the easiest it's ever going to get..so I'll just leave it at that. i'm grateful for today.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
YAY!
and it wasn't even really all that hard on me.
okay, so maybe it was.
there were definately a few tears on my part.
none shed by him though. he walked away from me into that school and didn't even look back.
brat.
But he did look ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!
He made it to school and back today just fine.
He says that he had lots of fun. and that he also doesn't remember anything that he did today. i think he does. i think he thinks it's funnier to just not tell me what i want to know.
I just keep looking at these pictures and thinking "how is this even possible?" when did my little baby become old enough to go to school? to ride the BUS?
le sigh.
I'm old. boo.
all this being said, even though I did have a teensy little problem with letting go...I am extremely happy and excited for him to start this new journey in his life. I'm grateful that he has the chance to go to school and meet new friends and learn new things from someone who isn't his mom. I'm grateful for all the fun he is going to have even if he doesn't know it yet. I am grateful for this whole part of his life that is going to help form who is as a human being, this incredible opportunity he has even though he hasn't quite realized the overall effect that this is going to have on his life.
because today was just Day One.
Day One of soo many many more.
good days.
bad days.
happy days.
sad days.
fun days.
annoying days.
brilliant days.
embaressing days.
they all started today.
I'm grateful that even though today seemed hard at the time...it's probably the easiest it's ever going to get..so I'll just leave it at that. i'm grateful for today.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
Monday, September 3, 2012
Panic Attack.
Today I am grateful that I AM NOT PANICKING about my son starting school tomorrow.
I am cool.
I am calm.
I am a rock.
I am an island.
nobody sweating any kind of small or big stuff here.
I certainly don't feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest.
or that i might stroke out at any minute.
Collected. That's absolutely the best word to describe me right now.
I make Chuck Norris look like a little girl.
I've never been more prepared for anything in my life.
Smooth sailing at this house.
First day of school? Ever? pshh. no biggie.
The idea of putting Breyman on a bus with a bunch of other kids with someone i don't know driving and no seatbelts? FUN. I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger ha ha ha ha...
Ommmmmm OOOMmmmmm
see that? that's me meditating because i'm so god damn serene right now.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
do you believe me?
yea. me either.
but i'm hoping if I keep telling myself all of this that it will miraculously come true. and I would indeed be grateful for that.
wish me luck.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
I am cool.
I am calm.
I am a rock.
I am an island.
nobody sweating any kind of small or big stuff here.
I certainly don't feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest.
or that i might stroke out at any minute.
Collected. That's absolutely the best word to describe me right now.
I make Chuck Norris look like a little girl.
I've never been more prepared for anything in my life.
Smooth sailing at this house.
First day of school? Ever? pshh. no biggie.
The idea of putting Breyman on a bus with a bunch of other kids with someone i don't know driving and no seatbelts? FUN. I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger ha ha ha ha...
Ommmmmm OOOMmmmmm
see that? that's me meditating because i'm so god damn serene right now.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
do you believe me?
yea. me either.
but i'm hoping if I keep telling myself all of this that it will miraculously come true. and I would indeed be grateful for that.
wish me luck.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Wedding & Impromtu BBQ.
Woah... Still with me guys?
two days without blogging.
man i suck.
but to be fair, Friday I was just dead to the world..and last night I couldn't have typed if I tried.
but I have two reasons to be grateful today as a way to make up for it.
First I am grateful for my cousin Andrea's wedding,
Weddings are always a reason to be grateful right? They're all about love and positive feelings. Two people are starting a family or combining a family. It's the begining of an amazing journey that's about to take place for two people. it's a celebration of life.
my cousin's wedding was also one heck of a party. they rented out a camp for the weekend and it was just a great time. the venue was beautiful, the food was good, and the bar tender was heavy handed. I can't really think of a more amazing combination that that. plenty to be grateful for all around.
Second, I am grateful for impromtu BBQs.
My beautiful best friend, Kristy, was in town for the weekend before starting nursing scool next week and she texted me this morning about having a coffee date. So after having spent the afternoon together catching up she invited the kids and I to go out to her camp this evening after The Marsh got home from work to enjoy the lake a little bit. We decided it would be a great night for a cook out and when the hubs got home we headed out. The weather was so beautiful, if not just a little bit chilly, but that didn't stop B & G from getting their swimming suits on and jumping in the lake. The Marsh was a trooper and put his swimming trunks on and went into the water with them. I stayed on the porch with the food and the booze having already taken care of my swimming for the year last night at the wedding. (don't ask)
It was a great night with some yummy foods and alot of laughs. the best possible day you could have and the entire thing was done spontaneously. isn't that just the best? i'm telling you it is. so grateful. for the entire weekend just being amazing.
A great way to kick of the month of september, which just happens to be my favorite month of the year.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
two days without blogging.
man i suck.
but to be fair, Friday I was just dead to the world..and last night I couldn't have typed if I tried.
but I have two reasons to be grateful today as a way to make up for it.
First I am grateful for my cousin Andrea's wedding,
Weddings are always a reason to be grateful right? They're all about love and positive feelings. Two people are starting a family or combining a family. It's the begining of an amazing journey that's about to take place for two people. it's a celebration of life.
my cousin's wedding was also one heck of a party. they rented out a camp for the weekend and it was just a great time. the venue was beautiful, the food was good, and the bar tender was heavy handed. I can't really think of a more amazing combination that that. plenty to be grateful for all around.
Second, I am grateful for impromtu BBQs.
My beautiful best friend, Kristy, was in town for the weekend before starting nursing scool next week and she texted me this morning about having a coffee date. So after having spent the afternoon together catching up she invited the kids and I to go out to her camp this evening after The Marsh got home from work to enjoy the lake a little bit. We decided it would be a great night for a cook out and when the hubs got home we headed out. The weather was so beautiful, if not just a little bit chilly, but that didn't stop B & G from getting their swimming suits on and jumping in the lake. The Marsh was a trooper and put his swimming trunks on and went into the water with them. I stayed on the porch with the food and the booze having already taken care of my swimming for the year last night at the wedding. (don't ask)
It was a great night with some yummy foods and alot of laughs. the best possible day you could have and the entire thing was done spontaneously. isn't that just the best? i'm telling you it is. so grateful. for the entire weekend just being amazing.
A great way to kick of the month of september, which just happens to be my favorite month of the year.
Thanks for reading!
Lana
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