Gazuntite.

Today I am grateful for a sneeze.

yup.

Thank goodness for one's ability to project snot and other such things out of one's nose with just one single bodily function.

Let me explain.

Having a three year old is challenging. everything in life is a game to them. they want to explore it. and own it. and see what everyone's reaction to it is. they are also just beginning to grasp the concept of one's self. and one's body. this is not the fun part of being a parent.

today in the midst of such exploration, my daughter decided she would like to see what happens when you shove something up your nose. by the intense horrible screaming and crying that followed, i hope that she has decided that it wasn't the brightest of ideas.

after hearing said screaming and crying I ran into the bathroom not knowing what in the heck i was going to discover. it sounded remarkably like "a bee got on my nose!" and i kept looking around asking her where the bee was thinking she has been stung. and then finally i worked out "a peanut got in my nose!"

also a fun fact about three year olds? they are still capable of thinking about their own welling being while in intense pain because when i asked her if she stuck a peanut in her nose, her response was "no, it just got there by itself!"

Lovely.

when I tilted her head back to examine inside her nose I almost had a heat attack. or threw up. pick one. The peanut was wedged up so far that i could just barely see it. I started to panic thinking i might end up having to take her to the emergency room. i grabbed the tweezers and tried to hold her as still as possible while trying to grab the peanut. the whole time i was completely terrified that i was going to end up shoving the thing even further into her nose. i'm telling you, parenting really needs a better manual. What to expect: The Toddler Years doesn't really seem to be working for me. Jesus.

anyway, after poking around inside of her nose for a few minutes, i did manage to do some good. no, i didn't ever get ahold of the peanut. but i did manage to tickle the inside of her nose. and then she got that screwed up look on her face. and then she proceeded to sneeze right in mine. I've never been so happy to be covered in baby snot in my life. along with the snot, came the peanut flying out at my face. I was so relieved.

afterward we had this big conversation about how it's not okay to stick things in her nose. and she was feeling decidely better, so she indulged me for about a half a second before running off and ignoring everything i was saying.

but man. i have never been so grateful for a sneeze in my life. now, after thinking about it all day, i realize now that the thing probably would have just gone down into her throat and she would have choked for like a half a second, either spitting it back up or swallowing it. and it would have been fine because it was just one little half of a peanut. but at the time the whole thing was happening, my brain just could not process that kind of information. i kept thinking the peanut was just going to end up inside her fucking head. and how i was the worst mom ever for letting it happen. and why does this always happen when The Marsh is working a double shift?

anyway. I'm glad the whole ordeal is just over. I'm glad the peanut came out. and i'm so glad that she sneezed and I didn't have to traumatize her by pulling  the peanut out with the tweezers.

so Bless You. or Gazuntite. whatever you want to say. just know I'm grateful.

Thanks for reading!
Lana