490 Reasons To Say Goodbye.

Today I am grateful for 490 Reasons.

This blog started on January 31, 2012.

and today is January 31, 2013.

it's been a whole year.

of being grateful.

and that's all she wrote, folks.

that was the goal. a year of blogging. 365 days (366 if you remember that last year was leap year) of remaining positive and seeing the good even with the bad.

Now, this will only technically be my 298th post, not my 365th. when I planned to try and blog every night i didn't take into consideration the nights that i would be drinking, or on vacation, or drinking, or have serious writers block, or drinking...so even though it's been a whole year, i haven't posted 365 reasons to be grateful yet...or so i thought.

but i have a tendency to be grateful for several things in one post.

so i took an hour, grabbed a pen and a notebook and went back through all of my previous posts and made a tally mark for everything i was grateful for in each post. then counted the tallies.

490.

490 things that i was grateful for last year.

Do you even remember how last year started?

it was awful. that was the whole reason behind the blog project. and in the last 365 days i've managed to be grateful for 490 things. amazing.

and what a year it was, wasn't it? almost everything i was worried about on that night in January is not currently an issue.

My father-in-law is still in remission (kicking cancer's ass like a BOSS), my sister's biopsy came back benign, my brother's problems have been sorted out for the most part. everything that happened last January could have totally ruined the year 2012. things could have gone one way, a very bad way, and yet they didn't. they all seemed to sort them self out, or in the medical cases, be treated the best they possibly could and then had a little bit of miraculous help from whatever higher power you believe in. now that, is truly something to be grateful for.

i considered keeping on with the blog, writing until i had at least 365 posts. but the truth is, as much as this blog has helped me, i think it's offered about as much help as it is ever going to. I needed an outlet a year ago. something to keep me focused and on track with staying positive. it has completely transformed my way of thinking, i look for the reason to be grateful now. in happy moments, and sad moments. i see it now, when i need to enjoy life a little bit more and realize how truly blessed i am. and while i'm so happy that this project has taught me this, it's also been a little bit of a nuisance. as much as i loved this blog, only a small part of me will miss it. i won't miss rushing through bedtime with my kids and not listening in while The Marsh reads them their stories so that i can write. i won't miss not paying attention to the first half hour of a movie i'm trying to watch with The Marsh because i'm writing. and i won't miss feeling guilty if i didn't get a chance to write a new entry. it's been a year. i'm ready to let go. and just live my life knowing i'm grateful for something or several things every day.

but i'll end it by saying this. I am grateful for this blog. I'm grateful for the influence it's had on me over the last year. and i'm so grateful for all of my amazing friends and family who have taken the time to read it and laugh with me and at me for the last 365 days. I love you all, and i am truly blessed and grateful to have had all of you go on this adventure with me.

Thank you for reading, I was so grateful. every. single. day.

Thanks for reading!(for the last time)
Lana

Hipster Jabba.

Today I am grateful for Jabba The Hut.

Say what? Isn't she a trekkie?

hang on there with me, people, while I explain to you why sometimes internet people are better than real people.

so it's no secret that i'm a little bit of a geek. just a smidge.

and i happen to have a blog (that no, i will not tell you the name of) that revolves around nothing but Star Trek. and the actors that played in the original series. and the reboot movie.

one of those actors is Zachary Quinto.

now, Zach Quinto plays the role of Spock in the Star Trek 2009 movie. he's a pretty good looking guy whose really into yoga (yes, i do know this for a fact) so he's generally pretty svelte. very tall and skinny.

like this



obviously he's not a big dude.

i had noticed in the new season of his show America Horror Story that he looked a little bit bulkier, but still, he's a skinny guy.

and then i saw this picture.



and naturally, being the dick that i am, blogged it and tagged it #Zachary why you look like Jabba The Hut?

not very nice. but true.

and then because internet people are better than real people, the awesome Tazeffect (no I will not link you, yes you could look up the page if you wanted, but i'm telling you to just leave it alone) photo shopped this amazingness.



I think i laughed for 10 minutes straight.

I'm laughing right now. again.

internet people are better than real people because you can make one harmless comment about someone looking like Jabba and suddenly someone else agrees and then you have Jabba with hipster glasses.

and i'm grateful for people who also enjoy spending their time blogging about silly (well, to be fair it's not really silly to us) star trek stuff, and star trek people. just like me.

and i'm grateful for the awesome laugh this picture gave me.

Bring Me The Wookiee!
Lana

Thug Life.

Today I am grateful I didn't cut a bitch.

yup.

I seriously almost went all gangsta on some lady at the post office. i think i may have actually slipped into an accent that could only be described as "New York Thugger".

fo shizzle.

I'm the most gangsterist gangster there ever was.

this afternoon after work i went to the post office in hopes of finally completing step 1 of the "Get Lana To Aruba" plan by turning in my passport application. as i was walking in i noticed a memo on the door that said "starting on such and such a date, the post office will only be taking passport applications by appointment to reduce wait times. please call ahead, yada yada yada." okay. so maybe those weren't its exact words. but i'm sure it's close.

anyway. i was a little frustrated because i really want to just get this shit done and over with. so i waited in line anyway just to ask if it was possible to turn in the application if it's already filled out and has a picture attached. no such luck. when i asked the woman she was very brisk. "Um no, we don't even do applications after 3:15" oh. sorry. that wasn't listed on your snooty little passport appointment memo on the door. so then when i asked about making an appt., she says "the latest we do it is 3:15!" and i was just standing there like "uhh, late afternoon actually doesn't even work for me, because my son is in school. but thanks." jeez louise.

so then we go through the whole making an appointment and i'm giving her my name, when she starts in on all the rules "make sure the application is filled in with black ink" yes. yes it is. and then she says "and we do photos here for an additional $15 fee".....deep breaths, Lana. deep breaths. "Thank you, but i already have a photo" WHICH I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

i'm a pretty peaceful person. but Thug Life Lana was seriously dying to come out and snap her fingers at this woman. i almost asked the man behind me in line to hold my earrings.

but I managed to hold it together, and for that I'm grateful. because going all thugger on this woman probably would have got me arrested. and since my husband works at the county jail, that wouldn't have exactly gone over well. somehow i don't think he would have liked it if I used the fact that i suddenly became a gangster out of know where as an excuse. just a guess.

but, man. thug life would have felt so good.

Word To Your Motha!
Lana

Change.

Today I am grateful for change.

well, the possibility of change.

maybe.

nothing has been set in stone. and there is still a process. you know that kind of thing.

but step number one towards change happened today.

i'm not ready to talk about what this actual change may be yet, here on this lovely little blog. but maybe in the near future. if said change does become a reality.

until then i'm just grateful for the possibility.

change is a scary thing. and so many people put their lives on hold and don't grow because of it. i know this because i am personally someone who isn't a big fan of change.

but i'm trying to be better. and my family is trying to grow. and we're young and adaptable. so we'll manage. i think.

wish us luck.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

The Plague.

Today I am grateful for a silly little movie.

you see, my house has come down with The Plague.

and yes, you should have read "The Plague" in a very deep dramatic voice. because that's how one should always say and read "The Plague" it's a rule.

anyway. as I was saying. My home is currently harboring some pretty horrid germs. It started off as mentioned the other day with Mr. Breyman having a fever and an awful cough. and while his fever isn't nearly as bad, his cough is still hanging on for dear life. and now he has some serious green nastiness coming out of his nose as well. and since he's such a good big brother and loves to share with his sister...now Little Miss is coming down with it too. She hasn't been quite as bad in the fever department. a little acetaminophen and she cools down. but her sore throat came on really fast, and she is already talking with a scratchy voice, coughing, and skipped right to the whole gross green nose stuff. i think the two of them may have gone through a roll of toilet paper all by themselves just blowing their noses today. and trying to keep track of when who took what medicine? it's tons of fun.

to be fair, i guess it could be worse. they haven't seem to have come down with their father's flair for the dramatic when they're sick yet (dear god, that man claims to be dying when he has a sniffle) so they aren't being generally miserable about the whole thing. but i can tell they're uncomfortable. and i worry about them not feeling well. but i tell you what, i think it's just as exhausting if not more being a parent to a sick child (or in my case two) then when you are actually sick yourself. This whole thing started on Wednesday night, where i got pretty much no sleep, my mom had the kids on Thursday night so i didn't have to worry about them. but even going to bed early i never managed to catch up on enough sleep and still felt exhausted Friday morning for work. I went to bed fairly early on Friday and Saturday nights, but i am still tired. i'm not getting very much sleep because every time Brey has a coughing fit i wake up and have a mini panic attack waiting for him to be okay. also, apparently i have a built in alarm clock that allows me to wake up in the middle of the night right when they are just about ready for another dose of meds. that's gotta be a super special mom super power. cause if i needed to wake up in the middle of the night to take meds i would probably sleep through it every time.

so where does the silly little movie fit into all this? well this afternoon as the babes and i were surrounded by crumpled up tissues and half used bottles of medicine, the kids decided to chill out under their covers and watch Rugrats for a few hours. thus giving me a chance to chill out on the couch and watch a movie. as I was browsing through the watch instantly section of Netflix, a movie caught my eye. okay so the fact that David Tennant was on the cover could be what caught my eye, but that's neither here nor there. the point is, my interest was peaked and then I proceeded to watch.

and I'm so grateful I did. It really was just a silly little romantic comedy called The Decoy Bride, but it made me laugh. and it made me smile. and it broke my heart just a little bit. and it did all the silly cliche things to me that romantic comedies are suppose to. and it was just nice. it was a nice little break from The Plague (deep voice, i'm telling you) that is going on. it was a nice little break from feeling exhausted and worried. and I got to stare at David Tennant for a couple hours. so I mean what wasn't there to be grateful for? for me today was a perfect example of why those silly little movies even exist in the first place. and I was grateful for the small reality break. actually the only disappointing part is that the movie was set in Scotland but somehow David wasn't Scottish (which he is in real life). So he wasn't talking in his actual Scottish accent. which is just a complete and total waste. can't say i'm grateful about that. but the rest of it..totally grateful. for sure.

especially because my night ended with my sleeping son drooling on me and peeing a little bit on my foot. reality break over.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Red Barn Surprise.

Today I am grateful that The Marsh decided to get me a surprise.

especially this surprise.

I called him today on my lunch break to remind him of something real quick and in the midst of our quick two minute phone conversation he suddenly says "I got you a surprise." to which my immediate reaction was "Is this surprise food?"

because as we all know the number one rule of 365 Reasons to be Grateful is I'm always grateful for food. 

and he told me that yes, of course, it was and left it at that.

but i knew in my heart and deep down into my little fat girl soul what it was without him actually telling me. I was willing it to be true in my mind the minute he said the word surprise.

you see we have this little restaurant around here called Red Barn. and it's where dreams come true. the greatest chicken baskets that will ever be created in the universe happen at this place. it's like a deep fried mini Disney vacation for your mouth. and it's just plain awesome.

I managed to get through the rest of my work day and when The Marsh pulled into the parking lot to pick me up at work, I was a woman on a mission. what in the hell was in that car waiting for me? what was my surprise? I opened the door, slid into the passenger seat and oh so casually glanced towards the backseat. where a plain brown paper bag was sitting all by it's lonesome. a brown paper bag that wasn't there this morning when he dropped me off for work. and the very same brown paper bags that all of Red Barn's take out meals come in.

victory was mine.

and it was a very delicious victory indeed.

Isn't The Marsh just fucking awesome? the correct answer is yes.

and I'm so grateful for my wonderful Red Barn surprise. and once again, i'm always grateful for food.

(no, i don't actually weigh 300 lbs., in case you were wondering)

Thanks again for reading!
Lana

Wednesday Night Fever.

yesterday i noticed Mr. Breyman was starting to get a little bit of a cough.

last night he came down with an all out fever.

by this morning, little dude was not in a good way. first thing this morning i managed to get some acetaminophen into him, tuck him into a makeshift bed on the couch and convinced him to drink some juice. this was not as easy as it sounds.

after that all i could do was wait. and hope that his fever would break with help from the medicine.

there is some nasty flu going around, and i've already read and heard some horror stories about younger children catching it. so i was terrified this morning that he wouldn't get better. and that his fever might get worse.

i'm grateful to say that about 45 minutes or so after he took the medicine, his fever broke. and i was so relieved. he stayed home from school with me and i kept him medicated, so other than the horrible cough, he was feeling better by mid day. the hardest part of the day actually proved to be trying to keep him in said makeshift bed. and trying not to laugh every time Brey had a coughing fit and his sister looked at him and said "that's so disgusting..." Its good to know that nothing really changes, even of one of them is sick. i guess i'm grateful for that too.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Step 1. Check.

Today I am grateful my sister, Emily, and I went and got our passport photos taken.

As I mentioned a few days ago, all of my sisters and I are heading to Aruba in May.

and every single one of us needs a passport.

well, my younger sisters went to Mexico with my parents a few years ago, so they need to get new passports (adult passports, cause they're adults YIKES). My older sister and I have both never needed a passport yet, so this will be our first time getting one.

and getting my passport feels like number one on this huge list of things i need to accomplish before this trip happens.

i guess realistically there really aren't that many things that need to happen, but when I vacation my wonderfully spontaneous, carefree nature suddenly turns into an obsessive compulsive bitch and i suddenly have like 15 different lists everywhere of every little detail of my life. it's a positive and negative thing all at once. and right now at the very top of every list is GET A PASSPORT.

i still need to fill out the application, get it printed out and take it to the post office to get this whole process rolling, but getting the picture taken at least gets that first step out of the way.

it wasn't a very big task to accomplish, but there isn't really anything that gives me a power trip quite like being able to dramatically cross something off my list. it's makes me happy. so i'm grateful for that too.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

The Prettiest Flower.

Today I am grateful for my beautiful Mama.

It's her birthday today.

Isn't she lovely?

yes.

yes she is.

she is also the most amazing mom anyone could ever ask for.

so amazing, in fact, that she'll forgive me for not writing a great big long blog post describing all of her infinite awesome because she knows that i feel like i'm dying right now. because of reasons.

but she is most definitely the prettiest flower in the garden of awesome. and i'm so grateful every single day that she's my mama.

Thanks for reading!

Lana

Inked.

Today i am grateful for growth.

and individuality.

getting married at 19 certainly isn't for everyone. and it certainly isn't easy. (although marriage isn't easy at any age) i will absolutely never think i was "too" young to get married. ever. but i certainly don't know how to function as an adult separate from my husband. hell, I've known The Marsh since i was 18, I've literally spent all of my adult life with him.

and i use to worry i might lose the chance to be me because of that. don't get me wrong, i've never had to be any one other than me with The Marsh. but I'm not 18 anymore. I'm different.  and its scary sometimes to be different from the person your spouse fell in love with. what if he falls out of love with me because of that?

The Marsh and I have a pretty rock solid marriage, so I don't tend to worry so much about him leaving me for changing a bit anymore. because for one, he's changed some too. and also because i think we've both realized that once you become a parent, you are never completely the same person again.

nowadays my worries usually run along the superficial. if my tastes in clothes changes up, i worry that The Marsh won't like what i wear. (not that it would stop me, but I prefer it when he thinks I look pretty) or i worry he might wish that he never agreed to that star trek marathon two years ago because now i won't shut up about Captain Kirk.

like i said small stuff, things that may or may not change again. no big deal.

but lately i've been feeling a little bit of anxiety again. because I've been thinking that i would like to get some tattoos.

yes. that's plural.

The Marsh has always knows that i planned on getting one other one, i currently already have one that i already had when we met, but I've never expressed much interest in multiple ones before, and he's not a big tattoo person. and i worried that he wouldn't like it.

now i hear all y'all single ladies out there saying "who cares? its your body not his!" well here's the thing about marriage.  everything is a compromise. and unless its incredibly important, you want to make your partner happy too. sometimes even before yourself.

the problem is sorting out the important stuff and the lame stuff. and getting some tattoos at some point qualifies as the kind of lame stuff. but its also something i know I'll regret someday if i don't do it. or at least give it the right amount of consideration. if i decide not to get anymore, i wanted it to be my decision. and no one elses.

so today i asked The Marsh if he would still love me if i had more tattoos. i know I'm dramatic. its a gift. and you know what he said? "well yea. as long you don't become one of those crazy people who starts tattooing their face."

I'm seriously grateful for that being his response. he could have absolutely said that he would prefer i didn't. he certainly didn't marry me with the intention of having a wife with tattoos. (of course that makes me sound like I'm planning on getting super inked out, which i'm not)

but he is okay with it. and i'm grateful. i'm grateful that even with our co-dependence and solid marriage unit, that we've still been able to retain our individual selves. so many people get so lost in a relationship they honestly have no idea who they are anymore. or they do know and they aren't able to be it. i'm grateful everyday that i am not one of those people.

and that i never will be.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Mr. and Mrs. Big Sister.

Today I am grateful for frogs.

What's that old saying? "You have to kiss a few frogs to find your prince." or something like that?

well, let's just say that my sister has kissed a A LOT a few frogs. well, to be fair i haven't actually really disliked any of her boyfriends (okay so there was one really horrific one but we don't really talk about him..), they just weren't...the one. and then a couple years ago my sister met Garrin.

and you could just tell right away that he was different.

first of all he met Theresa, my niece, for the first time at chuck e. cheese. he also happened to be meeting my children and i for the first time that day as well.

if you don't know this, chuck e. cheese is hell. it's where Dante and his friends hang out. it's where happiness goes to die.

but Garrin was a champ. he handled the whole thing beautifully, played with Theresa and my kids, was super calm and patient. for a man without his own children it was definitely impressive to watch. and i could tell by watching my sister watch him, if she wasn't already falling in love with him, she was after that.

and they've been together ever since.

the last two years haven't been easy for them. not because of their relationship, but because Garrin is in the Navy. so he's gone. like 95% of the time. I know that my sister misses him like crazy, but she knew exactly what she was getting into by dating a military guy, and i'm always impressed by her strength to stay sane when she doesn't see him for months.

last year at Christmas time I remember my sister starting to freak out a little bit. Garrin was acting strange. she was worried that maybe Garrin was changing his mind about her. maybe he wasn't quite sure that he could handle all of her crazy and her having a child. turns out he was just acting weird cause he was nervous about popping the question. I still remember my brother looking at his phone and saying "Is that a ring?" because my sister had texts us all pictures of her ring after he asked her. and i remember all of us freaking out and calling her to wish them all the best.

a little over a year later, Stephanie and Garrin were married today at my house in a very small ceremony that my brother officiated.

They still plan on having a big(ger) wedding at some point, my sister has a gorgeous wedding gown that she would like to get to wear, but for some logical and a few non-logical reasons, the two got hitched today so that they could be officially married.

and while it was a very small ceremony, it was still very beautiful and meaningful. and full of love. i'm always grateful for days full of love.

but most importantly i am so grateful for how happy my sister was. at 26 years old, today, she married someone that she loves unconditionally. and he loves her and her daughter just the same. i'm grateful that the three of them have this little family now. and even though there will be ups and downs, it will all be so worth it.

so here's a big congratulations to my big sister, Stephanie, and her new husband Garrin. I wish you every single happiness. and i'm glad that you don't have to kiss anymore frogs.

Thanks for reading!

Lana 

18 and Life.

Today I am grateful for my baby sister, Jasmine.

although she isn't quite so much of a baby anymore.

Today is her 18th birthday.

I just keep looking at her and thinking "How in the fuck did that happen?" 18?! really?! even The Marsh was having a hard time handling it. I think she had just finished the 6th grade when we met, so he's pretty much watched her grow up these last 6 and half years too. we're both having a hard time understanding where the time went. it went by just too fast, man.

this road for Jasmine, however, has been a very long one.

you see, my little sis has Aspergers Syndrome. if you don't know what that is, it's a form of autism. Luckily Miss Jazzy is on the low end of the spectrum. meaning that while she may be slightly awkward, she is still freaking smarter than all the rest of us. she likes algebra. if that's not weird than i don't know what is. but in all seriousness, it isn't easy having any type of autism. and kids are cruel. the kids Jasmine grew up with and went to school with were cruel. at one point the bullying got so bad when she was in middle school that my parents started looking into private schools just to get her away from them.

as a sister, and i'm sure as a parent, it was tough to see happening. i can't even begin to imagine how she managed to be the one living through it.

but somehow she did. they decided to give our high school a try for a year to see what happened and things turned out pretty well. she joined the Anime Club (of which she is now President as a senior) and found her own little niche of friends who enjoy doing the same things she does.

it was empowering to see her prove everyone wrong. not only did she go to public school all four years, she owned it in her own special way. she has amazing grades and has already received a few college acceptance letters. one school is offering her a scholarship of $20,000. per year.

I'm so grateful that she's grown up into this amazing young woman, despite being somewhat unique. sure she can be maddening and frustrating. but what little sister isn't? or older sister for that matter..or older brother....moving along.

I've hinted here on this blog that i've got a vacation lined up in a few months to leave the country. Well the plan is that my sisters (all of them) and I will be headed to Aruba for a week in May. We're going to celebrate jasmine graduating from high school.

I do have some reservations about going on this trip, solely because i know that i'll miss my kids and The Marsh like crazy, but i'm so grateful for this opportunity to travel with my baby sis and share in this special moment with her. Life is about to get crazy. she's going to graduate and go to college (or maybe the airforce). she's not going to just always be there at my mom's house anymore. she's going to be an adult, out there in the world living her life. She's seven years younger than me, my brain has trouble even beginning to process this kind of thing, but it's true. so i'm grateful for the fun and the memories that will be made.

and i'm grateful everyday to have such a funny, sweet, and amazing little sister.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Lemon Meringue Miracle.

Today i am grateful the lemon meringue pie i made for my mother's upcoming birthday seems to have turned out okay.

i had alot of anxiety about making this pie, people. something about out just looked scary.

in actuality, it was a much easier recipe than i realized and it all came together pretty easily. and i tell you what, the minute the water, cornstarch, and sugar formed a gelatin substance i was in awe. i couldn't believe how suddenly it happened. it was like freaking magic. science, people. its an amazing thing.

the meringue itself was the trickiest part. and to be  fair, i should have been paying better attention. my awesome new cook book recommended making the meringue by hand off you're a newbie like me so that you can get the feel of when the meringue stiffens up. me being a flipping idiot took the book's advice. then i preceded to rush adding the sugar, not realizing that this will cause the meringue to take longer to form.

seriously.

i think i got my workout in for the day. 15 minutes off hand mixing, a few amost tears and tagging out turns with The Marsh later, i finally gave up and threw it in my kitchen aid bowl with some additional sugar and called it good. i still don't feel like the meringue reached its potential consistency, but that was as good as it was going to get.

it cooked up pretty enough and i am so grateful that the whole thing didn't turn into one big mess.

and I'll be grateful if it manages to taste as good as out looks.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

What Do Tacos, Wedding Vows, and Ringing Phones Have In Common?

Let's see here.

Today I am grateful for Breyman having a snow day. (yes, it was 50 degrees here 48 hours ago, and now my child had a snow day) I didn't want to venture out into the snow and thankfully because school was cancelled we didn't have too.

I'm grateful i worked out this afternoon. because i really didn't want to. but we had tacos tonight so i'm glad i did.

I'm also grateful for the tacos we had tonight. i know you're totally shocked at my being grateful for tacos aren't you?

I'm grateful that the training The Marsh was suppose to have tonight didn't happen, meaning he was home an hour earlier than planned.

I'm grateful my mother in law came and picked up her phone she forgot here last night because the thing seriously rang all day today.

I'm grateful that i helped my sister figure out her wedding vows.

I'm grateful that i didn't end up buying a super cute dress today that was on sale. i was really tempted too, but the guilt of buying something before paying for my plane ticket for my upcoming vacation would probably have eaten me alive.

and i'm grateful that i got my ass out of bed and helped The Marsh by making him some toast and coffee to take on the road with him to work this morning. normally i don't get out of bed when he's getting ready in the mornings, and while i don't really plan on making it a habit, i was grateful for the little look of pleasure that came across The Marsh's face when he realized what i did.

Now I'm going to cuddle up with a blanket and watch some more Robin Hood, because as stated yesterday,  I'm am now completely grateful for Richard Armitage.

OH! and there is at least one glass of wine left in the bottle of table wine that The Marsh got for me, so we'll end this grateful round up with that too!

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Armitage.

Today I am grateful for Richard Armitage.

DO



YOU



SEE



THIS



MAN?




yee gods, is it hot in here or is it just me?

where has this man been my whole life? how has this perfection been walking around on this Earth without me knowing he existed? I shall not stand for it any longer. it is my new mission in life to start watching whatever this man is in because not only is he beautiful, he is a marvelous actor.

I knew he was wonderful when I saw him as this..



Thorin, The Dwarf King in the new Hobbit movie,

but i'm currently falling in love with him as Guy of Gisbourne in BBC's Robin Hood.



damn.

i am grateful for this man.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

January Thaw.

Today I am grateful for the January Thaw.

I don't know about the rest of New England, but i know around these parts come mid-janauary, we usually have what's called a January thaw. and that's when suddenly in the middle of freaking winter you wake up one morning and it's 50 degrees outside.

that morning was today my friends.

50 degrees, the sun was shining, the snow was melting. it was beautiful. and it definitely felt like April and not January. when The Marsh and I went to the grocery store this afternoon he actually had the window rolled down. and he had to stop himself from buying meat to cook on the grill.

I took advantage of the beautiful weather by heading out for a four mile run this afternoon while The Marsh was home with the babes. it was wonderful because 1. it was light outside. and 2. because it was 50 freaking degrees. oh and also because i got to bust out my new running jacket that I told you all The Marsh bought me as a belated Christmas present. it's a pretty light weight jacket, definitely for spring or early fall. so i was grateful for the opportunity to rock it today on my run.

Isn't it lovely? I'm just loving the orange

I guess the one thing I'm not grateful for is how temporary this is all going to be. 

like just today temporary. 

unless the weatherman is wrong, which i guess could be a real possibility, the forecast for the rest of the week is maybe high 30s tomorrow and then back to the 20s for the rest of the week.

le sigh.

at least we had today right? i'll stick to being grateful for that.

Thanks for reading!

Lana

Pajama Party.

Today I am grateful for lounging around in my jammies.

is there really anything better than a lazy day where you don't get out of your pajamas?

actually, there is.

it's when you wear one pair of jammies for awhile, take a shower, then put on clean pjs and wear those for the rest of the day.

which is exactly what i did today.

i just felt deep down in my soul that today was a pajama kind of day. i felt no need to venture out in the rainy weather for errands and i had no desire to play with the kids in slushy snow. there was just no reason good enough to get dressed.

and i'm grateful for that because life's about to get busy over the next couple weeks.

you see my older sister's birthday is coming up on friday. and my younger sister's birthday is on saturday. and my mom's birthday is on next tuesday. oh and somewhere in between all that my sister is going to marry her fiance. (long story, i'll explain it soon.)  also in between all that it's life as usual, finding time to run and finding time to actually spend five seconds with The Marsh because he worked 7 shifts this week and i've missed him terribly.

it's going to be busy. happy but busy.

and because of that i'm happy for today in my jammies.

you should all be so lucky sometime soon too.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

There's A Possibility.

Today I am grateful for a possibility.

As I've previously stated, I venture out of my cave twice a week to the land of grown ups and work at a dental office. we're a good size office and have lots of patients, and because we're one of the few offices actually accepting new patients around here, we get lots of calls or the occasional walk in by people who are looking to establish with us. today at work two people walked in the office for this very purpose.

and let me tell you, they had to be the cutest older couple i have seen in a long time.

that alone is a big deal for me. to admit to thinking an older couple is cute. i'm not a huge fan of old people to begin with. i know, i know. that's awful, right? well i just can't help it. i have pretty strawberry blonde hair (and a ton of modesty, obviously) and every old person within a ten mile radius used to touch my hair and tell my mother how pretty it was when i was little. i'm traumatized, people. post traumatic old people disorder. it's a thing.

anyway.

they walked in together to get scheduled for their appointments and i could just tell right away that they were going to be a pleasure to have in the office. they were adorable with each other. the husband was funny and had a hard time remembering things, and when the wife started to forget something she told him to get away from her because he was contagious. too funny. and even though they happened to walk in while we were kind of busy and there was a lot going on, i was still totally fine taking all the time i needed to in order to schedule them.

and after helping them with their appointment times and then wishing them a good weekend and watching them head out the door, all i could think was "I hope that's The Marsh and I someday." and i really do. i want us to be that old couple who goes to their dental appointments together and can still laugh and make fun when we're in our 70s. I want to be with him for the next 50 years and still look at him the way these two looked at each other.

and you know what? we may very well have that. there is a very real possibility that The Marsh and I will be that adorable couple. we have an incredibly strong marriage. and even though i think my husband is the most handsome man on the planet, it's the fact that he makes me laugh the way he does that is why i really fell in love with him. and he's the kind of funny that i don't see stopping anytime in the next 50 years. that'll be us standing somewhere trying to make an appointment for something and he'll be cracking jokes and i'll be laughing. and the receptionists will either think we're completely ridiculous or will be like me now, and hope that she has something as special as that someday too.

either way, i'm grateful for the possibility.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

She Hulk.

Today I am grateful that I can manage to move things around on my own.

now, lets be realistic.

I'm a five foot three female and i'm certainly not a body builder. but i like to think i do okay when i'm really determined to move something.

you see i'm the type of person who has to do things when the mood strikes. or else it will never get done. feeling the need to clean? it has to happen in that exact moment, because lord knows when that feeling will ever come back. it's just how i operate. when i want something done, i want it done right then. no if, ands, or buts about it.

the problem? sometimes this happens when The Marsh is at work.

okay so this generally almost always happens when The Marsh is at work.

but like i said when i feel motivated i have to do something about it. this was the direct result of my completely emptying a room in my basement, moving a pool table by myself that i had watched both my brother and The Marsh struggle to move in together and then painting said room and turning it into my kids current playroom. all before The Marsh got home from work at four. that was about a year ago or so now, but my behavior is still the same. today when The Marsh was at work I wanted to finish rearranging the furniture in the kids bedroom, so I moved their giant ass clothes dresser and Breyman's bed. by myself.

now i realize that lifting things that are way too heavy for you can be dangerous. my dad had double hernia surgery when i was in the 3rd grade. i remember the staples in his stomach. i don't exactly want that to happen to me. and i do try to be smart about moving things. but you know what? I'm grateful that i don't have to rely on someone else to help me if i need to move something in my house. there are a lot of women out there who are incapable of moving heavy things on their own, and i have no intention of being one of them. i'm grateful that i have a body with enough strength to accomplish what i need to accomplish. it's like my body was made to accommodate the whims of my "it needs to happen now" moods.

also i'm grateful for it because even though i have a wonderful husband who can move heavy stuff for me, i think it's always good to be a little bit independent. just in case something ever happens. hopefully it's a non-issue, but i don't ever want to be stranded in a situation where i can't take care of myself. even with something as simple as moving a dresser.

and even though i don't consider myself super strong, it always make me laugh a little bit when The Marsh calls me his she hulk. although i'm not sure why. that doesn't exactly seem flattering now, does it?

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Jinx.

Today I am grateful that I am not sick.

I'm actually a little frightened to post this.

on the off chance my my immune system decides to go all "challenged accepted"

but seriously. it seems like people are dropping like flies. you know if flies only temporarily dropped in a sickly type way instead of a more permanent dead sort of way.

anyway.

everyone is sick.

i've rescheduled more patients in the last 2 days that i have worked for being sick then anytime i can remember.

it's a little scary. and frankly down right disgusting.

so much nose blowing.



ewwwww.

that's neither here nor there, i suppose. the point is that i'm grateful i don't seem to have whatever it is that this plague is that's running around town. and so far my kids don't seem to have it either. or my husband.

i suppose the chances of it actually staying this way are pretty slim, especially with Breyman in school with a bunch of other four and five year olds. but we'll take what we can get for now.

also, i'll be grateful this this post doesn't turn into a jinx. because then I would have to flip my shit.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Orange You Glad I Didn't Say Christmas? Oh Wait...

Today I am grateful for belated Christmas presents.

i knowwwww.

i said i wasn't going to talk about Christmas anymore.

but i'm not really talking about Christmas. just presents. specifically a present to me from The Marsh. and it's just fantastic.

what was this most amazing gift?

a new running jacket.

(crickets)

whatever, guys. nothing is cooler than a new running jacket. especially one that looks like this

isn't it soooo pretty?

i'm not normally one for orange (I know it looks yellow here, but i promise it's orange), but i just had a mighty need for this jacket. 

and I'm grateful The Marsh decided I needed it too.

but i think his reasoning had more to do with visibility. and my not getting hit by cars. he's a worrier. 

either way, i'm happy it's mine. even if it meant bringing up Christmas again.

Thanks for reading!

Lana

Chill Out.

Today I am grateful I didn't freeze to death.

or freeze off any important parts either.

holidays are over. back on the running track tonight with a three mile jog. I would have liked to do four, but there reaches a certain part of the trail I run on after about a mile and a half in that leads into the woods and there isn't any lights. so yea. 3 miles it was. and it was 26 degrees. fahrenheit. just in case you're reading this from someplace that uses celsius. (you know like anywhere that's not America)

so yea that's a bit cold.

but to be fair it's actually much warmer then the 8 degrees or so it's been, so i figured tonight would be a decent night to run.

it's only cold for the first mile or so. then you're just numb from the cold. so that helps too.

also i came home and ate a Caramello.

that helped as well.

i think i may be missing the point of this whole exercise thing.

sigh.

at least i'm not cold anymore.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Party On Wayne.

Today I am grateful for our amazing family.

and by "our" I mean The Marsh and mine.

we had Georgiana's birthday party today.

We never do anything overly big for the kids birthdays, it's harder to when they both have late fall/winter birthdays that fall around the holidays. but we usually have both sets of parents and all our siblings over. my niece is usually here as well.

it's always a lovely little gathering. with some laughs and pizza. i mean what more could you really want in life?

I love that my kids are growing up next to their grandparents and aunts and uncle. I love that they are surrounded by family and know how much they are loved. I'm grateful that they are only just a few minutes away, even though in the winter months i always second guess our reasons for staying in this god forsaken state.

and mostly I'm grateful that everyone is close enough to deal with the fact that The Marsh and I never have our shit together in advance and generally just say "hey, G's birthday is tomorrow, you gonna be around?" We're kind of a pain in the ass like that, so them being five minutes away really helps on such occasions.

that and the fact that we're always ready for a party.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

ANTI-ANTIBIOTICS.

Today I am grateful to be done taking my antibiotics.

I'm fine, it was no big deal that I needed to be on them. just an infection that I tend to get once or twice a year. it's more of a pain then anything overly harmful.

but I hate taking antibiotics.

like really really hate it.

my attention span was not built for remembering to take a pill twice a day. even if it's only for a week.

plus this time i got all the freaking side effects and they were probably a major factor in while i felt so horrid all week.

so now I am just grateful to be done with them. appreciative for the help they have provided, but grateful to be through with them just the same.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Princess Thor?

Today I am grateful that my little princess isn't all pink and lace.

Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, I just like it when my children broaden their horizons a bit.

And Miss G is definitely all about the girly girl stuff. Pretty dresses, pink, princesses and baby dolls, she is ALL little girl, but occasionally she does something out of the box.

A few weeks ago when we first started discussing her upcoming birthday she mentioned wanting an Avengers cake. I was stunned. Sure she watches Avengers with her brother, but to pass on a Sleeping Beauty cake? I thought for sure she would change her mind.

But as time went by, she was dead set on having an Avengers cake. then came the problem of not being able to find a store that made them. Today when we checked, the grocery store said they only had a couple individual marvel heroes...lucky for us the one hero she really wanted was an option.

And which hero was it that she wanted? Thor. I'm so proud. We then went to iparty where she picked out her Avengers paper plates and napkins.

I'm grateful that The Marsh and I have been able to raise our children in a way that allows them to explore all sorts of interest, no matter what their genders are. Hell, Breyman is about as boyish as you can be short of being a miniature lumber jack, but he still loves My Little Pony. and I love that about  him. Just like I love that G wants an Avengers birthday cake.

Its scary sometimes, raising little people the right way. I'm grateful for little things like this that help remind me that we're doing okay.

Thanks for reading,
Lana

Little Miss G.

Today I'm grateful for my beautiful Little Miss G.

a.k.a Arch Nemesis Numero Uno.

It's her 4th birthday today and i just can't believe how quickly time flies.

How is it possible that she is four years old? She is my baby, i'm never having another one. so she needs to just slow it down right now. She was so excited about her birthday today that when Breyman got on the bus she told his bus driver "I'm four years old!" and his response? "That's great! That means you're old enough to ride my bus next year!"

um.

excuse you, Mr. Bus Driver.

stop talking about taking my baby away from me.

I'm still handling the idea of her turning four, lets not start talking about school!

Obviously I know she will be going to school next year, half a day like Breyman does now, and i'm sure when the time comes I will think it's absolutely amazing to have 3 whole hours by myself when the kids are at school, but I can only pretend she's my little baby for a little while longer, so lets no talk about such things right now.

over all i think she has had a very nice day. The Marsh and I gave her her new "big girl" bed, which is twin sized and she is very excited about it. when The Marsh asked her if she like her new bed, she responded by saying "No, I love it!" It was pretty adorable. She seems to be looking forward to her birthday party on Saturday more than anything. we didn't do cake tonight because we'll be having it then, so she said to me "Mama, don't you know people are suppose to be having cake on their birthday?" I don't know if she'll make it to the weekend. although she is spending the night at her Grammy's house tomorrow night so she probably won't have to. She'll just mention that she wants cake and it will be hers. She has one of those faces that are just hard to refuse, you know?

anyway.

Happy Birthday to my most beautiful little lady.  

I love you more than you'll ever possibly know.

Thanks for reading!

Lana

Lessons Learned.

Today I am grateful for ....well let's call it lessons learned.

last night I learned a very valuable lesson.

don't drink gin.

ever again.

it was pretty horrific. and i've spent all day long today paying for it today. but this is a blog about seeing the positive, even in the bad. so i'm going to say the positive side is that now i know i shouldn't drink gin. and at least i was at my mom's house with family..as opposed to finding this out in a foreign country whilst being the responsible adult.

okay, i know what you're thinking. responsible adults shouldn't be drinking that much anyway. but let me tell you, i didn't even really drink that much last night. there was absolutely no reason for me to have been that sick. my mom actually wonders if i may be allergic to gin. it's a good theory. The Marsh told me this morning that he couldn't get over how sick I was because he knew that i had only had a few drinks.

but the worst has seemed for pass finally.

I'm grateful that tonight i finally managed to eat some food without it coming back up. and i'm grateful that my head no longer feels like it's going to explode.

side note: I'm also amazingly grateful for my husband. i know, i know. i'm always grateful for The Marsh. but he was seriously a trooper with me today. he could have just been a jerk and said this was all my fault, but he was very sweet and understanding. he shampooed my hair for me when i needed him to and he even puts socks on my feet for me because my toes were cold. is he a keeper or what?

anyway, i'm hoping that the rest of 2013 ends up treating me a little bit better than today did. I would say that I hope it isn't a sign of things to come..the feeling miserable part, that is. but feeling sick aside, i spent the night with my awesome family and was reminded again today how amazing my husband is. so to be fair, i guess 2013 didn't start off too bad after all.

Thanks for reading!
Lana