17 to 25.

Today I am grateful that I am not 17.

and while that's not in any way shape or form suprising to me, a little part of me is amazed by it.

you see being 17 for me didn't suck.

In fact, 17 was a pretty great year. sure I was pretty much (emotionally) done with high school by my senior year, but it was still awesome (with just a few exceptions), I moved to Boston and met a wonderful group of people including my beautiful best friend, Kristy. It really was a fantastic year. and I always sort of figured it would be one of my favorite years...

but i sit here now at 25 and think you honestly couldn't pay me any amount of money in the world for me to want to go back and be 17 again. ever.

A couple times a year my mom throws a party at her house and I get to see some of the people I was friends with at 17. Such a party happened this weekend in honor of halloween. I got to see one of my best friends, Ashley, whom is the only friend from high school i even still speak to, and a couple other people that i was friends with back in the day.

I always enjoy seeing them. there are good conversations, nostalgic conversations, somewhat slightly pissed off conversations about some hard feelings that even 8 years can't erase, but it's always a good time. margaritas and my mom's hot tub make sure of that.

but when the partying stops, after I say good-bye to these friends and honestly have no idea when it is that i will actually be seeing them again and I come to my house, i get to see my babies and talk to my husband on the phone while he's a work...i know there is no way i would ever want to go back.

My sister mentioned today that sometimes it feels like it would be easier to go back in time. to a time with less responsibility and life was just a little bit simpler, but I just can't picture it. to be fair to her, her young and carefree years were spent a little bit differently than mine and I understand her wishing just a little bit for a do-over, but man...doesn't that just sound exhausting? I feel like being a mom to two toddlers is less exhausting that 17 year old female hormones anyday.

plus, I finally reached a point in my life a few years ago when I realized the purpose that all the good and bad things that happened to me between the ages 16 to 18 had in my life. they all had their part to play in making me exactly who i am today. I wouldn't go back in time for one second if there was even the smallest chance that it would change who I am today.

I've said it many times and will continue to say it everyday, I love my life. I am so grateful for my life. I am grateful for my slightly crazy, overly frugal, spontaneous lyric ruining husband. I am grateful for my little dude, Mr. Breyman. and I am grateful for arch nemesis numero uno, a.k.a. Miss G.

and I am so grateful that I am not 17.

Thanks for reading!
Lana