490 Reasons To Say Goodbye.

Today I am grateful for 490 Reasons.

This blog started on January 31, 2012.

and today is January 31, 2013.

it's been a whole year.

of being grateful.

and that's all she wrote, folks.

that was the goal. a year of blogging. 365 days (366 if you remember that last year was leap year) of remaining positive and seeing the good even with the bad.

Now, this will only technically be my 298th post, not my 365th. when I planned to try and blog every night i didn't take into consideration the nights that i would be drinking, or on vacation, or drinking, or have serious writers block, or drinking...so even though it's been a whole year, i haven't posted 365 reasons to be grateful yet...or so i thought.

but i have a tendency to be grateful for several things in one post.

so i took an hour, grabbed a pen and a notebook and went back through all of my previous posts and made a tally mark for everything i was grateful for in each post. then counted the tallies.

490.

490 things that i was grateful for last year.

Do you even remember how last year started?

it was awful. that was the whole reason behind the blog project. and in the last 365 days i've managed to be grateful for 490 things. amazing.

and what a year it was, wasn't it? almost everything i was worried about on that night in January is not currently an issue.

My father-in-law is still in remission (kicking cancer's ass like a BOSS), my sister's biopsy came back benign, my brother's problems have been sorted out for the most part. everything that happened last January could have totally ruined the year 2012. things could have gone one way, a very bad way, and yet they didn't. they all seemed to sort them self out, or in the medical cases, be treated the best they possibly could and then had a little bit of miraculous help from whatever higher power you believe in. now that, is truly something to be grateful for.

i considered keeping on with the blog, writing until i had at least 365 posts. but the truth is, as much as this blog has helped me, i think it's offered about as much help as it is ever going to. I needed an outlet a year ago. something to keep me focused and on track with staying positive. it has completely transformed my way of thinking, i look for the reason to be grateful now. in happy moments, and sad moments. i see it now, when i need to enjoy life a little bit more and realize how truly blessed i am. and while i'm so happy that this project has taught me this, it's also been a little bit of a nuisance. as much as i loved this blog, only a small part of me will miss it. i won't miss rushing through bedtime with my kids and not listening in while The Marsh reads them their stories so that i can write. i won't miss not paying attention to the first half hour of a movie i'm trying to watch with The Marsh because i'm writing. and i won't miss feeling guilty if i didn't get a chance to write a new entry. it's been a year. i'm ready to let go. and just live my life knowing i'm grateful for something or several things every day.

but i'll end it by saying this. I am grateful for this blog. I'm grateful for the influence it's had on me over the last year. and i'm so grateful for all of my amazing friends and family who have taken the time to read it and laugh with me and at me for the last 365 days. I love you all, and i am truly blessed and grateful to have had all of you go on this adventure with me.

Thank you for reading, I was so grateful. every. single. day.

Thanks for reading!(for the last time)
Lana

Hipster Jabba.

Today I am grateful for Jabba The Hut.

Say what? Isn't she a trekkie?

hang on there with me, people, while I explain to you why sometimes internet people are better than real people.

so it's no secret that i'm a little bit of a geek. just a smidge.

and i happen to have a blog (that no, i will not tell you the name of) that revolves around nothing but Star Trek. and the actors that played in the original series. and the reboot movie.

one of those actors is Zachary Quinto.

now, Zach Quinto plays the role of Spock in the Star Trek 2009 movie. he's a pretty good looking guy whose really into yoga (yes, i do know this for a fact) so he's generally pretty svelte. very tall and skinny.

like this



obviously he's not a big dude.

i had noticed in the new season of his show America Horror Story that he looked a little bit bulkier, but still, he's a skinny guy.

and then i saw this picture.



and naturally, being the dick that i am, blogged it and tagged it #Zachary why you look like Jabba The Hut?

not very nice. but true.

and then because internet people are better than real people, the awesome Tazeffect (no I will not link you, yes you could look up the page if you wanted, but i'm telling you to just leave it alone) photo shopped this amazingness.



I think i laughed for 10 minutes straight.

I'm laughing right now. again.

internet people are better than real people because you can make one harmless comment about someone looking like Jabba and suddenly someone else agrees and then you have Jabba with hipster glasses.

and i'm grateful for people who also enjoy spending their time blogging about silly (well, to be fair it's not really silly to us) star trek stuff, and star trek people. just like me.

and i'm grateful for the awesome laugh this picture gave me.

Bring Me The Wookiee!
Lana

Thug Life.

Today I am grateful I didn't cut a bitch.

yup.

I seriously almost went all gangsta on some lady at the post office. i think i may have actually slipped into an accent that could only be described as "New York Thugger".

fo shizzle.

I'm the most gangsterist gangster there ever was.

this afternoon after work i went to the post office in hopes of finally completing step 1 of the "Get Lana To Aruba" plan by turning in my passport application. as i was walking in i noticed a memo on the door that said "starting on such and such a date, the post office will only be taking passport applications by appointment to reduce wait times. please call ahead, yada yada yada." okay. so maybe those weren't its exact words. but i'm sure it's close.

anyway. i was a little frustrated because i really want to just get this shit done and over with. so i waited in line anyway just to ask if it was possible to turn in the application if it's already filled out and has a picture attached. no such luck. when i asked the woman she was very brisk. "Um no, we don't even do applications after 3:15" oh. sorry. that wasn't listed on your snooty little passport appointment memo on the door. so then when i asked about making an appt., she says "the latest we do it is 3:15!" and i was just standing there like "uhh, late afternoon actually doesn't even work for me, because my son is in school. but thanks." jeez louise.

so then we go through the whole making an appointment and i'm giving her my name, when she starts in on all the rules "make sure the application is filled in with black ink" yes. yes it is. and then she says "and we do photos here for an additional $15 fee".....deep breaths, Lana. deep breaths. "Thank you, but i already have a photo" WHICH I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

i'm a pretty peaceful person. but Thug Life Lana was seriously dying to come out and snap her fingers at this woman. i almost asked the man behind me in line to hold my earrings.

but I managed to hold it together, and for that I'm grateful. because going all thugger on this woman probably would have got me arrested. and since my husband works at the county jail, that wouldn't have exactly gone over well. somehow i don't think he would have liked it if I used the fact that i suddenly became a gangster out of know where as an excuse. just a guess.

but, man. thug life would have felt so good.

Word To Your Motha!
Lana

Change.

Today I am grateful for change.

well, the possibility of change.

maybe.

nothing has been set in stone. and there is still a process. you know that kind of thing.

but step number one towards change happened today.

i'm not ready to talk about what this actual change may be yet, here on this lovely little blog. but maybe in the near future. if said change does become a reality.

until then i'm just grateful for the possibility.

change is a scary thing. and so many people put their lives on hold and don't grow because of it. i know this because i am personally someone who isn't a big fan of change.

but i'm trying to be better. and my family is trying to grow. and we're young and adaptable. so we'll manage. i think.

wish us luck.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

The Plague.

Today I am grateful for a silly little movie.

you see, my house has come down with The Plague.

and yes, you should have read "The Plague" in a very deep dramatic voice. because that's how one should always say and read "The Plague" it's a rule.

anyway. as I was saying. My home is currently harboring some pretty horrid germs. It started off as mentioned the other day with Mr. Breyman having a fever and an awful cough. and while his fever isn't nearly as bad, his cough is still hanging on for dear life. and now he has some serious green nastiness coming out of his nose as well. and since he's such a good big brother and loves to share with his sister...now Little Miss is coming down with it too. She hasn't been quite as bad in the fever department. a little acetaminophen and she cools down. but her sore throat came on really fast, and she is already talking with a scratchy voice, coughing, and skipped right to the whole gross green nose stuff. i think the two of them may have gone through a roll of toilet paper all by themselves just blowing their noses today. and trying to keep track of when who took what medicine? it's tons of fun.

to be fair, i guess it could be worse. they haven't seem to have come down with their father's flair for the dramatic when they're sick yet (dear god, that man claims to be dying when he has a sniffle) so they aren't being generally miserable about the whole thing. but i can tell they're uncomfortable. and i worry about them not feeling well. but i tell you what, i think it's just as exhausting if not more being a parent to a sick child (or in my case two) then when you are actually sick yourself. This whole thing started on Wednesday night, where i got pretty much no sleep, my mom had the kids on Thursday night so i didn't have to worry about them. but even going to bed early i never managed to catch up on enough sleep and still felt exhausted Friday morning for work. I went to bed fairly early on Friday and Saturday nights, but i am still tired. i'm not getting very much sleep because every time Brey has a coughing fit i wake up and have a mini panic attack waiting for him to be okay. also, apparently i have a built in alarm clock that allows me to wake up in the middle of the night right when they are just about ready for another dose of meds. that's gotta be a super special mom super power. cause if i needed to wake up in the middle of the night to take meds i would probably sleep through it every time.

so where does the silly little movie fit into all this? well this afternoon as the babes and i were surrounded by crumpled up tissues and half used bottles of medicine, the kids decided to chill out under their covers and watch Rugrats for a few hours. thus giving me a chance to chill out on the couch and watch a movie. as I was browsing through the watch instantly section of Netflix, a movie caught my eye. okay so the fact that David Tennant was on the cover could be what caught my eye, but that's neither here nor there. the point is, my interest was peaked and then I proceeded to watch.

and I'm so grateful I did. It really was just a silly little romantic comedy called The Decoy Bride, but it made me laugh. and it made me smile. and it broke my heart just a little bit. and it did all the silly cliche things to me that romantic comedies are suppose to. and it was just nice. it was a nice little break from The Plague (deep voice, i'm telling you) that is going on. it was a nice little break from feeling exhausted and worried. and I got to stare at David Tennant for a couple hours. so I mean what wasn't there to be grateful for? for me today was a perfect example of why those silly little movies even exist in the first place. and I was grateful for the small reality break. actually the only disappointing part is that the movie was set in Scotland but somehow David wasn't Scottish (which he is in real life). So he wasn't talking in his actual Scottish accent. which is just a complete and total waste. can't say i'm grateful about that. but the rest of it..totally grateful. for sure.

especially because my night ended with my sleeping son drooling on me and peeing a little bit on my foot. reality break over.

Thanks for reading!
Lana

Red Barn Surprise.

Today I am grateful that The Marsh decided to get me a surprise.

especially this surprise.

I called him today on my lunch break to remind him of something real quick and in the midst of our quick two minute phone conversation he suddenly says "I got you a surprise." to which my immediate reaction was "Is this surprise food?"

because as we all know the number one rule of 365 Reasons to be Grateful is I'm always grateful for food. 

and he told me that yes, of course, it was and left it at that.

but i knew in my heart and deep down into my little fat girl soul what it was without him actually telling me. I was willing it to be true in my mind the minute he said the word surprise.

you see we have this little restaurant around here called Red Barn. and it's where dreams come true. the greatest chicken baskets that will ever be created in the universe happen at this place. it's like a deep fried mini Disney vacation for your mouth. and it's just plain awesome.

I managed to get through the rest of my work day and when The Marsh pulled into the parking lot to pick me up at work, I was a woman on a mission. what in the hell was in that car waiting for me? what was my surprise? I opened the door, slid into the passenger seat and oh so casually glanced towards the backseat. where a plain brown paper bag was sitting all by it's lonesome. a brown paper bag that wasn't there this morning when he dropped me off for work. and the very same brown paper bags that all of Red Barn's take out meals come in.

victory was mine.

and it was a very delicious victory indeed.

Isn't The Marsh just fucking awesome? the correct answer is yes.

and I'm so grateful for my wonderful Red Barn surprise. and once again, i'm always grateful for food.

(no, i don't actually weigh 300 lbs., in case you were wondering)

Thanks again for reading!
Lana

Wednesday Night Fever.

yesterday i noticed Mr. Breyman was starting to get a little bit of a cough.

last night he came down with an all out fever.

by this morning, little dude was not in a good way. first thing this morning i managed to get some acetaminophen into him, tuck him into a makeshift bed on the couch and convinced him to drink some juice. this was not as easy as it sounds.

after that all i could do was wait. and hope that his fever would break with help from the medicine.

there is some nasty flu going around, and i've already read and heard some horror stories about younger children catching it. so i was terrified this morning that he wouldn't get better. and that his fever might get worse.

i'm grateful to say that about 45 minutes or so after he took the medicine, his fever broke. and i was so relieved. he stayed home from school with me and i kept him medicated, so other than the horrible cough, he was feeling better by mid day. the hardest part of the day actually proved to be trying to keep him in said makeshift bed. and trying not to laugh every time Brey had a coughing fit and his sister looked at him and said "that's so disgusting..." Its good to know that nothing really changes, even of one of them is sick. i guess i'm grateful for that too.

Thanks for reading!
Lana